David sent me a link to this blog today about the debate over Public School, Christian School & Homeschooling. Check it out here for the rest of this rant to make sense. It's long, but good stuff and entertaining no matter which side of the fence you sit on.
Warning - here comes a soapbox
Now that we're expecting, this has become more of a topic of discussion with David & I and my insecurities about what will happen in 5 years when this little one is ready to be enrolled in school. (Preschool and the debate for or against it is a WHOLE other issue.) I have alot of fear of judgement from other woman because of how I do things. I used to have deep seeded issues with the women in my life and the feelings of betrayal when they would share "my stuff" with other people. I think this got worse as I became a Christian and the women in my life would share "my stuff" with others under the pretense of "we need to pray for her". It took alot of time, prayer and counseling before I was able to move past this and really form solid relationships with women where trust was never compromised. I understand these are rare relationships, and am truly grateful for the women who know "my stuff" and I can be venerable with without fear.
But alas, I digress. The point of that rant was to say that when we moved to Atlanta I started to feel pressure. I felt, particularly at our last church, that I was harshly judged and misunderstood for being in my mid-20s, married for 4 years and having no children. The south can be a rough place for married women without kids and to find a place for yourself takes some work, even at church. Believe it or not though, that wasn't the issue that caused us to leave our last place of worship...it was the fact that our tithes and offerings went to support the church's christian school. I'm not sure you can call it a mission field if the parents need to profess faith on behalf of their 5 year old entering kindergarten and I was simply not comfortable with our tithes going to support their christian school.
In our new church there is a nice mix of singles, marrieds without kids and families - it's really nice and was certainly a welcome change. I have still, however, longed to fit in with the mommies in our church. Now that we're expecting I can't wait to join play groups, make play dates with the other moms in our congregation and enter a new phase of sharing with these women the struggles and joys of raising children. Really my only fear has been how I will be accepted when we discuss schooling.
David went to a few years at the Christian school, but then transferred to the public school where he spent some of middle and all of high school. I went to public school all 17 years (kindergarten & college included). I loved going to public school and actually (get ready for it) came to know the Lord THROUGH Christians going to public school with me. My testimony has always been my leg to stand on...the final statement that would end any conversation in my opinion on why I am pro-public school.
In my mind it has never been an option to even consider homeschooling (how lacking would my kids be if I was their sole educator - scary!) and if I was going to stay home, who was going to pay for Private School? Public School has really been the only option as far as I was concerned and thankfully David is in complete agreement. I think that the teachers all have the same degrees in both public & private schools and that all education needs to be supplemented by the parents. I plan to be in the PTA, be a room mom, field trip chaperon and whatever other options are available for me to be involved in the school, as well as helping the kids with their homework and studies. The same is true for what they will learn in Sunday School - everything needs to be reinforced at home and I plan to be involved...David too.
I have always feared reactions from others on our choice to send our kids to public school. In reading Jon's blog post I was convicted that I do believe some of the stereotypes in all 3 categories. I guess I need to be in prayer that while I fear judgement I won't pass some along to folks who feel differently than I do.
4 comments:
Red, I know how you feel being happily married for years but with no kids in the picture to soothe the Southern souls around you. I appreciate your honesty and feel a bit encouraged by your words. I went to private and then to public school starting in 5th grade and I had the most wonderful Christian and non-Christian friends (also some real idiots in both categories)growing up. I think that it is less about which school your kids are in and more about the foundation that you are giving them at home. I worked at a private school that had some serious issues!
Preach on sister! I absolutely agree that is starts at home.
I'll be praying for you as you have to go through "resettling" in another southern place and explain away why you don't have kids. For the record though it took longer to have this baby than we would have planned, I value every moment that I've had with my awesome husband sans kiddos. It's the only time in your life that it's just the 2 of you - enjoy it!
Being from the homeschooled world I agree with your friend above - it is all about the foundation you create - not the format you use. Don't worry about the other ladies' judgement. It is the approval of our Lord we should be seeking and ultimately each must do what is best for their family and their situation. Each format is right when it is done with the direction of our Lord. Besides, you got time, girl. Don't worry about that now. Enjoy your little one during this time. It is the only time it is just the two of you and no one else. You will miss it once it is gone - even though he/she will be here out in the open for you to cuddle and hold.:)
Hi, Redonna! (It's Zach's wife, Julia) :)
I hope you will find, like I have, that when you start going to playgroups the other moms are just as happy to have you as a friend as you are to have them- and they will support you in whatever choice you know is right for you family whether it's the same as theirs or not. :) I also went to a Christian private school for most of elem school, but didn't meet any Christians until I was in public middle school. Two of those believers led me to the Lord in (public) high school- I sometimes suprise folks at church when they hear our kids are going the public route, so I understand what you're talking about, too. In our case, with a child in special education, our public school system is WAY awesome. The parents are the kids' first and strongest teachers, anyways- especially in a worshiping family! :) I love your blog, btw!!!
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